It was something my Mom always said to me. Whenever I felt defeated or that I just didn’t have it in me to start, she would say,
three quarters of can’t equals can.”
It has stuck with me ever since.
Now the work can begin
We just so happen to be starting 2022, the season of new beginnings and starting fresh. Actually, we’re a full week in…which is when I believe the real magic begins.
Along the same lines of, “Tomorrow, I will…”, the start of the new year often leaves me unsatisfied when declaring a new start. New Year’s resolutions? Nah…how about year round resolutions. There’s zero significance behind 365.
On December 31st, we take a moment to gaze at the going year through the rear view mirror…but realistically don’t have much time to digest and plan out all the things you say you want to do differently on the road ahead. That is, unless you’re one of those “map out your goals in October” types… I see you. But, even if you’ve set clear intentions…we all know everything doesn’t go according to an exact plan. My guess is that even for you, there is still some residual carry over as you transitioned over during this first week of the year.
More on transitions…
“If we think about transitions in the bigger picture, they’re far more impactful than the actual destination. This is because there is always something else that lies ahead, somewhere further to go. We are not stationary beings. We never land and life is rather an ever-evolving transition.”
But, you made it! The first week is always the hardest, and now the real work can begin.
I plant this seed now as a reminder for whatever you may encounter ahead. The message applies at anytime of the year, but my hope is for you to be able to watch it flower over time.
Three quarters of can
Basic math says that three quarters is one quarter shy of 1 cup. The cup, in this instance, is you. The pursuit of life is to “fill your cup”, and this three quarters we are referencing simply holds the majority within you. The motivating, encouraging, support to believe in your ability.
You CAN do anything you set your mind to. It is inside of you and the majority is in your favor.
“But…”
Nope. No buts. You CAN do anything…
One quarter of can’t
Although the majority is in your favor, yes, there are things you just CAN’T do…yet. The most important thing to remember is this quarter of inability is not permanent. It is not a declaration of fact, it is an area to reach for. We are FILLING the cup remember? There is no exact formula and times where you pour in something you can’t do…
…yet. You can, it is just a matter of time.
I can’t do a handstand without the support of a wall right now. I haven’t been able to since I started practicing a few years ago. Right now I can’t. But someday I will, because I can. In the meantime…I can practice. I can strategically build muscle strength. I can see my progress.
See? I can more than I can’t. Three quarters of can’t equals can. When I can do a handstand, there will be something else I can’t do…right then. But I can try or figure it out because the majority is in my favor.
Try this on – it’s one size fits all
Now that we’ve arrived into this new year, here is an exercise to gently shift your perspective on those items you’ve decided you can’t. Maybe even those promises you’ll decide you can’t uphold any longer in a few weeks or months. This exercise will help you adapt those New Year’s resolutions into year-round resolutions that transition with you.
You need a pen, piece of paper and honesty:
- Write down 3 things you’ve previously declared you can’t do – for whatever reason under the sun.
- Next to each thing – write down 3 things you can do instead.
- Take those 9 things and put it in your back pocket, write them somewhere you can see everyday, scream them from the rooftop – that is up to you – but put them out into existence. Create a current of belief within you that you can.
- Sit tight, set up a reflection schedule, etc. – again up to you. If you need things in front of you, routinely check in on what you can do and see if it’s moving the needle on what you can’t just yet.
- When you cross off one of your can’ts – write down a new one with three new cans. This is an ever-evolving process. Remember, we never reach a single destination.
Here is another example:
I can’t…
“I can be scared – it’s what puts an end to a cycle of comfortability.”
“I can have a void – because what’s next is a better fit.”
“I can trust the plan that is bigger than me.”
Whether you’ve pushed them out of sight and out of mind or consistently struggle with the doubt, pull the focus away from whatever you’re doubting and focus on your abilities.
Gentle reminders
Although I grew up with this motto and continual reminder, believe me when I say I’ve doubted myself. But “can’t” is the catalyst. I hear it, and I immediately say I “can”.
First, when you hear it, immediately say, “I can” and then follow with “maybe I just don’t know how yet.” “Maybe I’m not ready yet.” “Maybe…” But don’t spend much time speculating exactly why you can’t yet. Rather, spend that time practicing believing you CAN. The rest will fall into place naturally.
#Lettucebowandsay “Three quarters of can’t equals can”
