3 Years
3 years ago, I turned to face the sun.
I was asked recently what changed…who was I before and after discovering yoga. I was taken aback for a moment as it reminded me that I made this transformational shift in my life just 3 short years ago. And my, oh my, how much has changed.
The Shadows
Although a bit difficult, I managed to dig up some of what feel like ancient memories of who I was:
- Bitter
- Judgemental
- STRESSED
- Closed-off
- Hyper-sensitive to other’s perceptions of who I was
- Did I mention stressed? Like physically could feel weight on my chest
Maybe you’re thinking, wow, she sounds miserable! The scariest part is I wasn’t. I was so disconnected with my own perception of myself, I didn’t even see the above, and just thought it was a part of life.
Free and Wild
In August of 2018, I, in true Shelby fashion, out of the blue made two decisions: I would start going to yoga 3 times a week & I would try eating a fully a plant-based diet for 1 week.
So, where did the inspiration come from? I was practicing yoga already, but only once a week. IF I didn’t let anything else stand in my way: work, school, social life, etc. My teacher was incredible and we were on a first name basis. She and her husband owned the studio and that last week of July she announced that he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and that they would be selling the studio to focus on their family and health. My heart was crushed, for them especially but also for me. All those times I let something else stand in my way I missed an opportunity to practice and feel great with my teacher. It was then I realized there was no making up for lost time.
It was then I decided I wouldn’t lose any more time missing an opportunity to feel great.
The next day I found a new studio and bought their new student 2 week unlimited pass. I surpassed my goal and actually took 4 classes each week.
Week after week I would roll out my mat, dedicate time to myself, absorb what my teachers shared, and hash out what I needed to physically, mentally and emotionally. I never walked into a class with the same intentions or expectations, and I would never leave disappointed. I would only feel free.
Brave and Vibrant
2018 ended up being one of my most challenging years to date. I carried an immense amount of weight that I couldn’t seem to shed. While trudging through the muck, there were countless times I would imagine how much worse off I would be if I didn’t have yoga. I’m sure you’ve already connected the dots, but I made it to the other side of 2018, 2019, 2020 and pretty soon 2021.
I can’t pinpoint exactly when I realized it, but
as soon as I made the definitive choice to face the sun, the shadows were forever behind me.”
In the bigger picture, 3 years of a consistent yoga practice may seem insignificant. But the reality is it only took one choice to make the shift and in time, layer by layer, I shed those dark extremes of myself. To be clear, this doesn’t mean there aren’t clouds or even dark skies – trust me, they’ll always be there. That is in fact life. It is how we rise up through the dirt that defines us to ourselves.
I am a Sunflower
And now we get to the good part of the story. Who am I today, after yoga?
I am me: open, accepting, loving, spacious and only focused on how I perceive these pieces of myself, because that’s what I want others to see.
I’ve always been here, too. Yoga turned me toward the light to finally see it, and accept nothing less.
#Lettucebowandsay “May I grow so tall and bright, so free and wild, so brave and vibrant that when you see me standing you think I am a sunflower.”
